When I was 19 - I worked in a Nursing home.
Of course, if you tell people this they have a very clear image in their mind and often this is summarised in one sentence:
"Ooh I could never work in a Nursing home."
Which is a problem because nursing homes are full of a generation of smart, gutsy, funny people who need carers who can bring sunshine and humour to their day. When I was 19 these experiences are what really evolved my character and made me the capable, up-beat person I am today.
Working in a Nursing Home can at times be tough but there is humour and stories to be found and you'll suddenly have 67 grandparents/friends you never thought you'd have. When I look back on this time 4 years later these are the moments I remember most..
I N S U L T S
My all-time-favourite insult came from a lovely lady who was unfortunately blind. I came over to help her eat cake when she took hold of my arm and said;
"What is this I'm holding?"
"Its my arm."
"Well...it feels more like a leg to me"
B E I N G W A S H E D
There was one particular resident who almost always insisted that because I was a "Baby" it was her job to wash me. I'm sure she was trying to be helpful, but it did mean I had to run round drenched for the rest of the morning. The problem with having a baby face when you are a carer is that it really confuses dementia sufferers. I had to often reject pocket money..
O l d P e o p l e S w e a r i n g
On one occasion, a resident asked me to pass her a single piece of liquorice. I said "sure no problem" before accidentally pouring the all 50 pieces onto her table. Without missing a beat this 91 year old said
"Bl**dy hell Esther; if I ate all that I'd be able to sh*t through the eye of a needle"
D A N C I N G
One resident that I will always have strong memories of, told many stories of his travels and took part in sky-dives well into his 90s.
I remember he owned a singing Beefeater teddy that we all would dance to. This resident would take his hands miraculously off his zimmer-frame and cut shapes with more zest then the rest of us.
N A U G H T Y N E S S
When you consider all the times a nan has asked their grandchild to take their elbows off the table it does build up a picture that all elderly people have a strict code of conduct.
..Well this resident was not the conformist type and her favourite sport was trying to get rubbish into the bin from a great distance. Sometimes she would call her bell and when I arrived, she would ask me to fetch the fallen rubbish so that she could have a re-shoot.
(M Y) M I S T A K E S
There was one time I came across a resident, slamming a wheelchair aggressively into the wall (he had advanced dementia). I figured that if I deposited my plump-self into the wheelchair that my weight would stop him damaging the walls.
- I was immediately proved wrong and found myself being pushed at surprising speed down the corridor.
At this point my manager -plus visitors- appeared from round the corner with absolutely no explanation to accompany the scene.
C O N F U S I O N
Working in a nursing home means you have to answer to a lot of very foundational questions such as "Where am I?" "Who am I" "Where are my shoes?". On this occasion I was sat having tea with a resident when she turned and to me and asked;
"Are we really in a nursing home?"
"Yes"
"... then why haven't I been doing any nursing?!"
H A V I N G F O O D T H R O W N A T Y O U!
There was one time I bought a tricky yet lovable dementia patient a roast dinner. He looked at the offering, delighted for 3 short seconds before short fuse of Dementia interrupted the magic...
The comedy of this moment was almost immediate. Which is surprising really given that a frisbee of Sunday lunch was flying in my direction - gravy spurting in 360 directions and leaving me with peas in my pocket.
B A N A N A S A N D W I C H E S
Some times it was particularly sad to watch when residents stopped eating. Especially those I knew I'd miss. I would always try and help them fight back by making them banana sarnies!
For some reason, this dish seem's to help when the appetite fails.
There's not much you can do with butter, bananas and bread but I would slice and arrange them like it were some form of magic cure and even though it wasn't, it felt like something.
H A L L U C I N A T I O N S
Some residents experienced hallucinations.
I often tried to reorientate these residents by reminding them where they were but other times I confess I ended up going along with it.
"Are we camping anywhere nice today Pauline?"
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C O M M U N I C A T I O N
I once had an impromptu game of charades with two residents who had both lost their speech due to a stroke. Through 10 minutes of escalating giggles the two old ladies tried to communicate to me that I had dropped a pea on my boob.
R O M A N C E
One particular resident had kept all the home-made cards and love notes that her husband had written her over the years and she would let me have a look through them all.
The love and warmth displayed upon the paper would turn any bad day around. It would also be enough to make me forgive and forget, that her husband these days was frisbee'ing roast dinners at me...
Partners In Crime
In the Nursing Home there where 2 best friends who where an iconic duo.
One day, I walked past the living room, to find the friends plotting and scheming ways of escaping the Nursing Home. To distract them; I provided a pot of pipe cleaners and suggested they make flowers. Instead - they decided to decorate themselves and go to dinner with a slightly more avant-garde look.
D i f f i c u l t H e l l o's
Eventually I left the nursing home and moved to London. Visiting was very difficult not knowing how much change to expect of my old friends.
I was warned that this particular resident didn't remember people anymore but I went in to say hello all the same. This lady knew I loved singing and that I wanted to perform in the Proms one day. She was really convinced I would one day make it on to the stage. She was great with classical music and used to teach me about the composers on the radio.
When I approached her she immediately demanded I leave and that she didn't know me. I stood close enough for her to see the carrot hair she had always disliked. Then something clicked and she looked up at me and said;
" I watched The Proms you know! I was looking for that red hair in the choir"
...I was there at the Proms but only in the audience. I didn't tell her exactly where I was, I just told her I was there.
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Written and Illustrated by
Esther Cross
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